Woody Allen Quotes, Funny Sayings, Funniest Quotations

Woody's Wit
and Wisdom
Woody Allen

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20 Best Woody Allen Quotes About Life

Woody Allen Quotes - Funny Sayings - Funniest Quotations


American film-maker, comic actor and writer Woody Allen was born Allen Stewart Konigsberg in Brooklyn, New York, in 1935. He began his career writing for television comedians and performing as a stand-up comic in nightclubs, before turning to film-making.

His early comedies depicted neurotic urban characters preoccupied with sex and death and self-analysis. They include Sleeper (1973) and Annie Hall (1977, Academy Award for Best Picture).

Allen continued to explore the same themes and a sophisticated New Yorker's other preoccupations in his later comedy and drama work. One of America's leading film-makers, among his other movies are - Play It Again, Sam (1972), Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask (1972), Love and Death (1975), Manhattan (1979), Broadway Danny Rose (1984), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986, Academy Award for Best Screenplay), Crimes and Misdemeanours (1989), Husbands and Wives (1992) and Mighty Aphrodite (1995).

Allen has written many humorous prose pieces, many of them appearing in The New Yorker magazine, as well as plays.

In 1993 he was at the centre of a storm of publicity after he left longtime lover, Mia Farrow, for Farrow's adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn (whom he later married). In a bitter custody battle he sued Farrow for custody of their children and lost.

Allen is a talented jazz clarinet player.


Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
- Woody Allen

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
- Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
- Woody Allen

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.
- Woody Allen

That [sex] was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
- Woody Allen

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty..
- Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
- Woody Allen

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
- Woody Allen

My brain? It's my second favorite organ.
- Woody Allen

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